today

Today I feel needy and clingy and unproductive and slow and lonely. I have no structure but a long to do list, I've worked 5 hours that I don't think I can claim for pay, my room is still a mess. The only things I've achieved are a pile of clean clothes and the satisfaction that I can jog 3 miles without wishing it were over soon. That in total took me about 3 hours (2:45 of which were essentially free since the actual work involved in laundry is minimal), what the fuck have I done with the other 10 that have elapsed since I got up this morning??? I ate at a burger place that I went to just to see Ale for a few minutes and make peace with Dad, I picked up samosas and chatted with a future Smithie...I drank rootbeer and as a result almost fell asleep at the wheel, I wondered if Kellen is angry at me because of the email my dad sent him, I wished Mike was around and was glad and jealous at the same time that he's having a peaceful, satisfying day without me.

Oh, and I whined on my blog.
I'm going to MAKE myself do something
(nice timing dumbass, it's almost 9pm)