Happy all the time 2
yeah, it's kind of a weird name and it came off the top of my head. There's a story and it's prolly not interesting, but I'll tell you anyway:
My brother fell madly in love with our German exchange student , Ale, who stayed with us for the 04-05 school year. He already had a weird sense of humor and so did she, but the two of them combined and boosted by the (albeit small) language barrier, came up with some damned weird things.
One of these things was Ale's account on our family's copy of XP Home, which Adrian and Ale created and edited together in various stages of weird/flirty moods. The account, over the year, changed from being called "Alessandra" with a mildly boring account picture, to being called "HAPPY ALL THE TIME!!!" with a picture of Walker, Texas Ranger as the account pic. I think the joke here was that they would always talk about being constantly happy and perky in a sardonic sort of way, because we all know that even if a person *seems* to be happy all the time, they're probably squashing a miserable little crying person because it's more important that they look happy than have feelings or be a genuine person.
So, I'm happy all the time because I'm not; because it's absurd for someone to always be happy, it doesn't happen. One cannot experience joy without sorrow; if you experience neither, you live in between in a very bland world. I'm happy all the time 2 because Adrian and Ale came up with it first, and I felt I should give credit to their sarcastic wits.
Also, I was embarassed that I was getting a blog and thought that if I named it something confusing and proceeded to spill all sorts of crazy rants and emotional blowouts on it, anyone who didn't know me already would most likely raise an eyebrow and move on. Which, consdidering the fact that I can count on one hand the number of people who I know have read it and can only think of 3 who read it repeatedly, is probably what happens.
So.....tomorrow I'm going to the wedding of two people I barely know, and I'm excited about the blue bridesmaids' dresses and the fact that I'm allowed to purchase alcohol in Canada and having a couple days off from school. I'm trying to start taking better care of my body because the last year has not been it's best, starting by getting off the medication that probably made me feel crappy in the first place. My choir is singing an e.e.cummings poem set to music that is probably the first of his poems I've really appreciated (the last 4 lines are all that make much sense to me...and I like the placement of the "long enough and just so long" lines). I talked to my mom for the first time in a few weeks a couple nights ago, I miss my sister and my brother, and sophomore year is turning out to be an entirely different experience from first year. I haunt myself too often with what I don't do enough of; study, hang out with friends, exercise, sleep, eat well, dress up. I like cooking my own food and sharing a bed with someone and drinking lots of tea and getting up early. I want to quit choir in favor of yoga classes and having more flexibility about when it's my turn to make dinner. I want to be braver and stronger and repair the dents and distortions in my relationships. I want to be a staffer at NBTSC and speak Spanish, French and Italian fluently, and more than ever I want to be a teacher.
as freedom is a breakfastfood
or truth can live with right and wrong
or molehills are from mountains made
-long enough and just so long
will being pay the rent of seem
and genius please the talentgang
and water most encourage flame
as hatracks into peachtrees grow
or hopes dance best on bald men's hair
and every finger is a toe
and any courage is a fear
-long enough and just so long
will the impure think all things pure
and hornets wail by children stung
or as the seeing are the blind
and robins never welcome spring
nor flatfolk prove their world is round
nor dingsters die at break of dong
and common's rare and millstones float
-long enough and just so long
tomorrow will not be too late
worms are the works but joy's the voice
down shall go which and up come who
breasts will be breasts, thighs will be thighs
deeds cannot dream what dreams can do
-time is a tree (this life one leaf)
but love is the sky and i am for you
just so long and long enough
e.e. cummings
My brother fell madly in love with our German exchange student , Ale, who stayed with us for the 04-05 school year. He already had a weird sense of humor and so did she, but the two of them combined and boosted by the (albeit small) language barrier, came up with some damned weird things.
One of these things was Ale's account on our family's copy of XP Home, which Adrian and Ale created and edited together in various stages of weird/flirty moods. The account, over the year, changed from being called "Alessandra" with a mildly boring account picture, to being called "HAPPY ALL THE TIME!!!" with a picture of Walker, Texas Ranger as the account pic. I think the joke here was that they would always talk about being constantly happy and perky in a sardonic sort of way, because we all know that even if a person *seems* to be happy all the time, they're probably squashing a miserable little crying person because it's more important that they look happy than have feelings or be a genuine person.
So, I'm happy all the time because I'm not; because it's absurd for someone to always be happy, it doesn't happen. One cannot experience joy without sorrow; if you experience neither, you live in between in a very bland world. I'm happy all the time 2 because Adrian and Ale came up with it first, and I felt I should give credit to their sarcastic wits.
Also, I was embarassed that I was getting a blog and thought that if I named it something confusing and proceeded to spill all sorts of crazy rants and emotional blowouts on it, anyone who didn't know me already would most likely raise an eyebrow and move on. Which, consdidering the fact that I can count on one hand the number of people who I know have read it and can only think of 3 who read it repeatedly, is probably what happens.
So.....tomorrow I'm going to the wedding of two people I barely know, and I'm excited about the blue bridesmaids' dresses and the fact that I'm allowed to purchase alcohol in Canada and having a couple days off from school. I'm trying to start taking better care of my body because the last year has not been it's best, starting by getting off the medication that probably made me feel crappy in the first place. My choir is singing an e.e.cummings poem set to music that is probably the first of his poems I've really appreciated (the last 4 lines are all that make much sense to me...and I like the placement of the "long enough and just so long" lines). I talked to my mom for the first time in a few weeks a couple nights ago, I miss my sister and my brother, and sophomore year is turning out to be an entirely different experience from first year. I haunt myself too often with what I don't do enough of; study, hang out with friends, exercise, sleep, eat well, dress up. I like cooking my own food and sharing a bed with someone and drinking lots of tea and getting up early. I want to quit choir in favor of yoga classes and having more flexibility about when it's my turn to make dinner. I want to be braver and stronger and repair the dents and distortions in my relationships. I want to be a staffer at NBTSC and speak Spanish, French and Italian fluently, and more than ever I want to be a teacher.
as freedom is a breakfastfood
or truth can live with right and wrong
or molehills are from mountains made
-long enough and just so long
will being pay the rent of seem
and genius please the talentgang
and water most encourage flame
as hatracks into peachtrees grow
or hopes dance best on bald men's hair
and every finger is a toe
and any courage is a fear
-long enough and just so long
will the impure think all things pure
and hornets wail by children stung
or as the seeing are the blind
and robins never welcome spring
nor flatfolk prove their world is round
nor dingsters die at break of dong
and common's rare and millstones float
-long enough and just so long
tomorrow will not be too late
worms are the works but joy's the voice
down shall go which and up come who
breasts will be breasts, thighs will be thighs
deeds cannot dream what dreams can do
-time is a tree (this life one leaf)
but love is the sky and i am for you
just so long and long enough
e.e. cummings
posted by Alex at 7:18 PM
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